Let me say that I have never been a religious person. Have I gone to church, yes. However, the idea that you can't have any kind of spirituality without sitting in the same pew in the same church every week has never made much sense to me as I got older. I don't get it. How can anyone profess that God is everywhere but you HAVE to be in a specific place in order to touch base, say hi, pray, check in, give money, whatever with "someone" that is everywhere. Literally I have had that debate with so many people, it' exhausts me. So we'll say, for arguments sake that I am "spiritual". I believe in a higher being, I just like to believe that when I talk, "he" or "she" listens, wherever I am and we'll leave it at that. I like to think "he" or "she" is comfortably sitting somewhere with a beverage of their choice, listening to some good tunes and generally loving the world. That's just how I see it, don't judge.
Speaking of judge, I have been the target of this wonderful "emotion" on occasion and as I get older, I find that I have less and less tolerance for it. I just don't. Judge lest ye be judged is what is printed yes? That's the old adage? I wish people who preached that could actually follow it. As I've gotten older, I have really understood, this is not always the case. It happens. People will judge People will be negative. Anything short of screaming in another person's face isn't going to stop it. YOU can't make people not judge or not be negative. Some do it for sport or amusement and to be hurtful. Some do it without even trying. That it's just ingrained in their psychie to be judgemental. I have judged. I have paid for it when it's happened. I have felt regret, i've offered apologies. Sometimes it's been received, sometimes not. When it hasn't been, i've had to shake it off, understand that some people just aren't "there" yet.. That they haven't had the "I dont want to be negative" wake up call. I guess that is part of growing up and getting older. For me anyway.
What gets my goat is those that continue to judge and never seem to have a fallout. Never seem to be called out on it, never seem to "pay the price". As a younger woman that always used to frustrate me to the core. Older now I see it more clearly.
Those people live with negativity forever. It's part of who they are. They cannot be happy unless they are stepping on someone else and I think to myself, no, i'd never want to be that way. To obtain pleasure from being judgemental? Negative? Who would WANT to live like that, let alone choose too. Who would want that poison running through their veins like a timebomb waiting to explode. I've learned this is not my problem to solve. However much I would like too, it just isn't my problem.
I thought long ago, I could have been one of those people. I've been mean, hurtful, judgemental, even emotionally cruel. I think we all have. I don't think one person, who is honest with themselves can say that they HAVEN'T had a moment or a series of moments like that. No one is perfect.
However, I'm so glad I have moved away from it. Shed negative people from my immediate surroundings. When you do it, you lose people. it's going to happen, but you also gain people. It's just the circle isn't it? Truth becomes apparent, lies are shown. It happens over time. Sadly, some still want to play the game while some of us just want to stop playing. The streetlights have come on and it's time to go home. To grow up. To move on. It happens. Knowing when to walk away is the best feeling int eh world. The reward in doing what is right is all you need. The rest, will come out in the wash as my Grandma always said.
As for Karma, She's still a bitch, I am NOT messing with her!
Happy day to you!
Well written my friend!
ReplyDelete